0501-"I guess this has to be the location shown at the map. But what the means
     this title 'M_NEFI__D'" *BOOM* {bad luck it was a minefield}

0502-"Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix."

0503-a) "I ensure you that this rope is robust enough to help you in climbing
        down the canyon."
    b) "Don't worry, this rope will hold."

0504-"Let's take the shortcut, he can't see us from there."

0505-"What happens if you touch these two wires tog..."

0506-a) "Don't worry, it's not loaded."
    b) "Are you sure its not loaded ?"

0507-"I want revenge !"

0508-"Wanna have more ?"

0509-"I've beaten you once and I can do it again."

0510-"No problem at all. I've a +20 modifyer on Detect Traps."

0511-"What a big rock in the ceiling ahead. Is it fixed there ?"

0512-"Grimmtooth ? Not this one."

0513-"I'll take a quick bath in this pool." {full of acid}

0514-"I wake him up."

0515-"You wizard don't have the 'Analyze Potion' spell. Okay, I will take a
     smell at it."

0516-"Let me take a closer look on the medusa..."

0517-"They are chaotic evil ? That's great, we're chaotic evil, too. So there
     will be no problem with alignments."

0518-PL: "Hi, my name is Hurga the Immortal."
    DM: [smiling] "I hope you have an Hurga the Immortal II worked out..."

0519-"I can kill everything. What is it ?"

0520-"I disbelieve the pit's existence and walk over it"

0521-"How about a riddle contest?" {facing a dragon}

0522-"They're only squirrels.  Come on, lets' go." {hungry ones}

0523-"17,000 miles?  That's ridiculous - I can't believe someone would go that
     far only to kill me!"

0524-"This does have a safety catch, doesn't it?" {Nope.}

0525-"OK, I'll leap out, open the outer airlock door, and then jump back inside
     and close the inner hatch...will I get a negative to my DEX roll?"

0526-"This poor creature...I have the skill animal-care. I'll help that horse."
    {This 'horse' was a terrible mixture between a horse and a lion.}

0527-"We should have no problems with the werewolves. I've got a ring of
     healing." {lycanthrophy is hard to heal in Ravenloft}

0528-{in a dockside inn}
    PC1: "I call him a reptile's haemmorhoid" {to a dock-worker}
    GM : "Eight people stand up."
    PC1: "Can I get out the door ?"
    PC2: "I block the door."

0529-GM: "Don't let Odin see this ugly act."
    PC: "F*ck this damned Odin !"

0530-"Ok, I'll run through his prismatic sphere, and attack."

0531-"A child could have done it!"

0532-"The odds were on *my* side."

0533-"Those fools are wasting ammunition!  They couldn't hit the broad side
     of a barn at this distance..." *thud*

0534-"I'll cast darkness to get away from the bats."

0535-GM: "A kind of sizzling sound seems to come from a small hole in the wall."
    PL: "I try to close it with a glutinous strip."
    (inside an enterprise known for producing nerv gas for military usage)

0536-"Don't worry. The thief's stupid. She won't know we're using her for a
     Polish Mine Detector."

0537-PL: "I go and help the wizard."
    GM: "So you disturb the circle of diamond dust around the pentacle."

0538-"We're no wimps to hide inside at night !"

0539-"What do you mean the townspeople are upset that we killed the mayor?"

0540-GM: "Uh.  After killing one wolf the 99 others aren't really too fazed."

0541-"What do you mean save versus Turn to Stone?"

0542-"Okay guys, what we need to do is ........ROLL REALLY WELL !!!"

0543-PL: "How long am I going to be stunned for?"
    GM: {smiling} "...the rest of your life."

0544-"Hey, I know, that you're evil!" {after casting a detect-evil on a red dragon}

0545-Priest:"Okay, God, you wanted it this way."

0546-"I don't know which kind of tree this one is, but we're safe." (in a thunderstorm)

0547-"Die!!!" {But he had a ring of spell turning.}

0548-"Ok, I make friendship with this baby cardonian."

0549-"Don't shoot, it's me."

0550-"HA ! We killed all the hostages anyway!"

0551-"Don't worry, he is the recon expert..."

0552-"The window isn't open, so he couldn't have gotten out, he must be still
     be in here." {absolutely right}

0553-"I reach my hand into his pocket. What do you mean it's a bag of
     devouring ?"

0554-"I take a deep breath."

0555-"Pattern on the floor? What pattern ? Oh, that pattern!" {Amber}

0556-"What do you mean my weapon was made by the cheapest contractor?"

0557-(a demon shows up)
    PC: "Who did you ask for? Oh Shit!!!"

0558-"What does scroll of stupidity do? duh?"

0559-"What do you mean you got the spell wrong or backwards ?"

0560-"So how many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb ?"
    (PC to another PC while sitting in a Klingon bar)

0561-"So where is that local woman Im supposed to wrestle ?"
    {after drinkin' a fifth of vodka, was supposed to wrestle a polar bear
    and fool around with a local girl, but he got it confused.}

0562-"I break the end of the oxygen cylinder off and aim it at the enemy!"

0563-"So what is a mind flayer, oh that is a mind flayer..."

0564-"We're HOW close to a super nova ???"

0565-"Okay, who turned out the lights ?"

0566-"What do you mean it the 'snow crash' hypercard, what does that mean?"

0567-GM: "This is your last chance to get out from under this girder."
    PL: "The others aren't helping, are they?"
    GM: "Nope."
    PL: "OK, I'll use my pyrokinesis on Lucky's nuclear reactor to blast it

0568-"It's daytime...it's gotta be safe."

0569-"Let's all go in; he wouldn't kill the whole party at once."

0570-"Watch this and be envious!" {right before climbing up a ten foot wall,
     falling down putting himself in a coma, died later on - bad luck }

0571-Dwarf:"Hey, elf, what does this message on the metal plaque at the beginning
    of the tunnel say ?"
    Elf(smiling):"Walk in single file down the corridor, keeping to the left."
    Dwarf:"Okay, me first..."
    {Gnomish message - elf didn't know Gnomish}

0572-"Hey, this hole in the ceiling wasn't there the last time, was it ?"
    {after that a purple worm came out of that hole}

0573-"A spell of aging? Come on, I'm an Elf!!"

0574-"He doesn't look like a barbarian."

0575-DM: "You detect massive launches of missiles from the surface heading
  toward the ship. You're in the path..."

0576-"What's it gonna do? Bleed on me ?" {about a badly wounded Alien warrior
      the kind with acid for blood...}

0577-"I suppose a good death is better then bad roleplaying."

0578-{PC is facing a big dragon}
    GM: "You CAN run away."
    PC: "No, I can't."
    DM: "Your psychlim is moderate."
    PC: "No, it ain't."
    DM: "Yes, it is."
    PC: "Used to be, My overconfidence is much higher now."

0579-"The mithril arrowheads are mine! The elves OBVIOUSLY wanted me to
     have them !"

0580-"Ok, I'll drink my self-made healing potion."

0581-"What do you mean I'm the only one who survived the first combat round ?"
    {but he didn't decide to flee}

0582-"I put on the necklace I took from that skeleton." {Necklace of
    Strangulation, removable only by wish spell or when person is a skeleton}

0583-"What 10,000 gp I borrowed ?!" {said to a barbarian who liked his gold}

0584-"I'm a wizard. I don't need to be able to swim. I will fly !" {fumble}

0585-PC1: "Help me, I'm in deep trouble. Hey, Argan, it's your turn, you owe a
    lot of money you borrowed."
    PC2(smiling): "Not any longer, I guess..."

0586-"I go back by myself to look at those pretty yellow flowers I saw back
     there." {Yellow Musk Creeper}

0587-"I jump down into the river to see how deep it is."

0588-"Take the other end of this rope and we'll trip the dragon as it runs
     through the doorway."

0589-"You?  A GOD?  Sure, right, then strike me down with lightning!"

0590-"I could have sworn that statue didn't register when I did detect magic."

0591-"Don't worry fellas, it's not a real dragon.  It's just a skeleton of one."

0592-"Okay, let's see if I loaded this thing right."

0593-"Was that all ?"

0594-"Damn, I KNEW I'd forgotten something..."

0595-"Nothing ever happens on the first level of the dungeon!"

0596-"I didn't know there were rules for weapons breaking..."

0597-"Reload ? Nah, I've still got 5 shots in the mag."

0598-"Wiz, put the cat out!"

0599-PC1:"I guess this goblin came to taunt and lead us into an ambush."
    PC2:"Yes, obviously. Hopefully there'll be more of them there."
    {there were}

0600-"I stroll past the thieve's guild."

0601-"Hey, there's dead things under here!"

0602-"Well, he's got the arrow point cocked against my temple, so when he
     lets go of the drawstring, it should just stay there, right?"

0603-"I try to outrun the cops."

0604-"They can't shoot us at this speed!"  {while driving away at 35 mph}

0605-"What do you mean this is a one-way street?!"

0606-An ambitious example how to carry a live electrical wire across a river:
    "I put the wire in my mouth and wade through the river."

0607-"How many times do I have to tell you: there's no ghosts here!"

0608-"It's just a magic mouth, right?"

0609-"What was that demon's name. I think... ah, yes... it was-"

0610-"What do you mean there are five more town guard?"

0611-"I should survive this."

0612-{after surrender of the White dragon}"I release it from my entangle spell"

0613-"I jump after him." {On top of a tower, a evil wizard made his escape by
     casting Jump}

0614-"I'll stay out here in the light."

0615-"They'll never expect it."

0616-"What do you mean, 'Let's try a frontal assault on those archers'??"

0617-"What do you mean, `He panics, grabs me by the head and throws me to the
     other side of the room'?!? This guy is supposed to be a scared, shaken,
     mentally unbalanced nervous wreck!"

0618-Priest:"Are you telling me you are the chosen one?"
    PC:"Did I say that? No, no, you misunderstood me; I just wanted to say..."

0619-"I push him in the pit from behind..."

0620-"They're only trolls, I won't waste a fireball."

0621-"Remember my Helm of Brilliance saves at +4, so it only needs ..."
    {helm failed to save, exploded and killed the whole party}

0622-"You mean I *wasn't* sleeping in my armour ?"

0623-"Thank God for the Computer!"
    {In Paranoia, all religion has been deemed illegal - instant termination}

0624-"Who's got a tinderbox?"  {nobody}

0625-"Mayhap, I should not have done that..."

0626-"Don't worry, they can't fire while cloaked."

0627-"Sensor scans show negative, captain."

0628-PC1:"Shields are down to 10%, captain."
    PC2:"Just one more photon torpedo, and he's history..."

0629-"Lower shields as a sign of peace !"

0630-"I'll take this hit like a man to save my action."

0631-"Cut life support to conserve energy."

0632-"Hah! That's six! You're empty, mister!"

0633-"Quick, there's an Ogre over there, hide the gold!" {shouted}

0634-"Why aren't you recording our damage ?"

0635-{in an aircraft}
    PC1:"Blubber-blubber-gaaaaa." {failed SAN check}
    PC2:"Does anyone *else* have Piloting skill?"

0636-GM:"How many hit points did you say you have ?"
    {shaking every dice he owns}

0637-"What do you mean the warranty ran out ?!"

0638-PL {to GM}:"I did not know you owned THAT many dice!"

0639-"What, I thought you had the toll money."

0640-"Sorry Fred, I did not see you behind me."

0641-PC1:"Quick, cast a fireball !!!"
    PC2:"I'm a bloody watermage..."

0642-PC1:"Only a idiot would stick his head out of that window...Hey Mark,
  stick your head out of that window."

0643-{PC in Imperial uniform meets many armed pirates}
    NPCs:"Who the hell are you..."
    PC:"I'm one of you, guys..er..joined last week."
    NPCs:"Then why do you wear that Imperial Officier's Uniform ?"
    PC:"It's not a uniform....its a sweater my mother knitted for me."

0644-a)"Don't worry, I never fumble."
    b)"Don't worry guys, I can't possibly fumble twice in a row."

0645-"Scared? Us? There's ten of us and one of him! Chaaaaarge..."

0646-GM:"Okay, you managed to escape from palace-jail. Now you're in the
 palace garden. What'll you do next ?"
    PC:"Hiding in this bush. They won't find me there."

0647-GM:"He wants a duty for passing."
    PC:"I pull his beard." { 'He' was a large troll.}

0648-"Okay, Mr. Hal !"
    {to Emperor Hal I., the allmighty ruler of the large empire, defender
    of humanity, ...etc}

0649-GM:"The doors are locked and the corridor is filling with water from
 pipes high on the walls."
    PC:"I'll cut a hole in the ceiling with my monomolecular sword."
    GM:"Okay. The fire-sprinkler pipes which run through the ceiling start
 spraying water all over the place. There is also a high-voltage
 electrical cable conduit in the ceiling..." {grin}

0650-"I drop the thermal detonator and duck around the corner."

0651-"We don't negotiate with monsters, we kill them!"

0652-"Maybe I should make up a spare character, just in case."

0653-"I rolled so well on my force field, nothing can touch me."

0654-"Gee, if I had known what a failed bind spell would do I never would
     have cast it on that Dark Young."

0655-"If you meant the giant elephant statue, why didn't you say so?"

0656-"It always works in the movies."

0657-"You know, I'm actually starting to like this character."

0658-Priest(PC):"Hey, what's the name of this module ?"
    GM:"Death Of A Priest"

0659-"No problem at all. He is 6th level Elven Bladesinger and we're only
     5th level, but we're PCs."

0660-"A Sphinx Of Enigma ? Don't worry, she always asks for the solution
     of the same riddle which I know."

0661-"The spell 'Know Alignment' says she's a Neutral Good Drow."

0662-PC1:"Go talk to it.  You're the one with the 18 Charisma."
    PC2:"Okay...Pardon me...Do you have any 'Grey Poupon'?"

0663-"A little japanese kid ? He's called AKIRA ? I don't care..."

0664-"Power ! More Power!"

0665-GM:"The orc peels back the blanket, looks at you, and says 'Din-ner'."

0666-"What the hell is a 'Horror Check'? This ain't Cthulu..."

0667-"What do you bloody well mean it was a 'luck blade'?! Do YOU KNOW what
     I just wished for ?!"

0668-{PC (bard) to troll}
    "I can sing for you...please don't eat me."

0669-"Look out!  I'm coming to save you!"

0670-PC{bard}:"You're not going to believe this, but I sang this song about
       the King of Cormyr and his mistress, and he was a bit mad..."

0671-"Have you noticed that she gets this huge glow in her eyes right
     before she's going to kill you?" {about GM}

0672-{Party meets a group of NPCs}
    PC1:"We come in peace."
    PC2:"...and leave in pieces."

0673-"Nah. She's done  this to us before. Its just a blue dragon with an
     illusion of four other heads."

0674-"I wonder what number comes before zero..." {about his life points/wounds}

0675-PC:"It looks like a big worm ? How big ?"
    GM: smiling

0676-Bard-PC:"I'll make a nasty song up about this uncivilised bastard."

0677-Bard-PC:"You..said...that...you...broke...my...flute ? BANZAIIII !!!!"

0678-"It was only a dumb unicorn. Why's the ranger so upset ?"

0679-"The laws of probability say that I should be able to climb this
     wall like that {snaps fingers}."

0680-PC:"Kill the troll."
    Troll:"I would prefer it if you would cease the hostilities..."
    {player died of shock}

0681-GM:"So you're trying to ride your pony on a swaying rope bridge over a
 lava pit without the riding proficiency ?!"

0682-{female PC detects someone who behaves suspicious (he is a killer sent
     to terminate her party!) in a bar. She doesn't know whether he observes
     her or just find her attractive. She walks up to him.}
     "Do you like a drink ?"

0683-"We surround them, fellows... hey...?"

0684-"I don't know if I'll make it through this round.  Maybe I should
     have fled."

0685-"Does the spell really require ox blood?  Can I substitute some other
     kind of blood ?"

0686-"We can stop and heal when we get there."

0687-"I'm still pretty sharp. I only had a few beers."

0688-"It's GUARANTEED against breakage!"

0689-"I have to. He insulted me. It's a matter of personal honor."

0690-"This one is hard to hit. No parry this round."

0691-"This is so stupid. I can't believe I'm going to die at the hands of
     this little gnome."

0692-"I'll try again."

0693-"Am I still bleeding ?"

0694-"Good thing the GM forgot about my curse."

0695-{to GM}"You're shooting a ballista at 1st level PCs?!?"

0696-"Uh oh. How fast can I hack through this wooden ceiling with my sword ?"
    {Wasn't _nearly_ fast enough, but nice idea.}

0697-"Don't worry. The Healers' Guild are all sworn pacifists."

0698-"No trouble, the mothership would have us teleported out of this Section
     BEFORE the Genestealers will reach us."

0699-"I've just killed six Genestealers in Overwatch, I'll manage it again."

0700-"The inscription says 'Asmodeus was here.' Asmodeus... I haven't
     heard that name before. Hey, magic-user, do you know who Asmodeus is ?"

0701-"It's just a mirror. Right ?"

0702-"There are no demons in Second edition."

0703-"Dragon turtles can't breath underwater."

0704-"We're using spell fumbles ?!?"

0705-"Gygax modules aren't that killer..."

0706-"What do you mean I'm standing on a big X ?!"

0707-"I set fire to the stage." {in an elven inn}

0708-"Gods don't exist. Here, I'll show you...Odin is a geek! Odin is a geek!
     Odin is a geek! ... See, nothing happened."

0709-PC :"No captain, there is no-one here, except for the computer speaking."
    NPC:"What is it saying ?"
    PC :"9 ... 8 ... 7 ..."

0710-"What ? It looks exactly like me, except it's made out of luminious blue
     energy ? It's an illusion.  Watch, I'll stick my sword thru it!"

0711-"A red dragon? Aw, the DM wouldn't give us one of those until we're
     really high level. I disbelieve."

0712-"Woah, I'm really lucky! A chest, no traps, no locks? You gotta be
     kidding! I open the chest."

0713-DM:"You hear a click."
    PC:"I freeze !"
    {while standing on a pit}

0714-NPC:"I jump down the cliff." {VERY long way down}
    PC1:"I jump."
    PC2:"I leap and grab onto PC1."
    PC3:"Okay, I jump too."
    PC1:"Just before I hit, I'' activate my Feather Fall."
    PC3:"Your what ?"

0715-PC:"What do you mean the brontosaurus surprises us? Where did it come
 from ?"
    GM:"Well, it was hiding behind the mountain."

0716-PC:{to NPC}"En garde."

0717-"Don't worry. I only fail to save on an ..."

0718-"You obviously don't know who you're dealing with."

0719-"Fireballs don't hurt me."

0720-{to DM}:"Let's talk about what we just saw...."

0721-{to hostile wizard}
    "You thought we wouldn't survive that and come back to you, didn't you ?"

0722-"I'm sure that no one saw us."

0723-"Defend your life, you ugly worm."

0724-"This disease is no lethal one."

0725-"Where the hell did that assassin get a laser-guided triple-barreled
     crossbow ?"

0726-"Fifty monsters ? Well, half of 'em are kobolds. We can take 'em!"

0727-PC:"There are HOW MANY GNOLLS in that courtyard ?"
    GM:"Well, about 200. Want to stop and count them?"

0728-"Well, I hit him twice. He's probably in bad shape."

0729-"What do you mean there's a shapechanging demon in the party ?"

0730-"I'm a grey elf! I have lots of time!"

0731-"I parry the demon's two-handed sword with my stiletto !"

0732-PC1:"Why is there a moose staring into that bush over there ?"
    {enemy hiding there}
    PC2:"What the heck is a moose doing here ?"
    PC1:"Maybe the attacker turned himself into a moose!"
    PC2:"It's a shapechanging moose!"
    PC1:"I'll cast Charm Person on the moose."
    PC2:"I cast detect magic and look at the moose."
    DM :"You detect no magic on the moose."
    PC1:"It must be a non-detection moose!"
    PC2:"Yeah, a shape-changing non-detection moose!"

0733-NPC:"Beware the unspeakable one!"
    PC:"Oh, you mean Hastur ?"

0734-"Dwarves can't be vampires."

0735-"What do you mean there's no saving throw ?"

0736-"I'm stunned, huh ? Okay, I sit back and drool for a while."

0737-"What do you mean I'm his slave now ?"

0738-"I fly over to the pirate ship."
    {the plate-clad warrior encountered a beholder's Anti-Magic Gaze}

0739-"Hey, the pyramid's glowing. I didn't think it could do that."

0740-"What do you mean the ship is sinking ?"
    {character disintegrated a hole in its bottom}

0741-"That gem must be worth a fortune! I'll grab it!" {a demon's soul gem}

0742-"I'll follow him down the alleyway."

0743-"Stop screwing around with all this sneaky stuff!"
    {character rips window frame off building and climbs in}

0744-"Priests of Orcus aren't that bad, are they ?"

0745-"Cool! Crocodiles!"

0746-"We'll wait in ambush for them here !"
    {they were ambushed themselves}

0747-"I thought you silenced the guard!"

0748-"They have an acceleration of WHAT ?!"

0749-"Wait 'till I flick my bic."

0750-"Ah. Safety jackets are for pussies."

0751-"Don't worry. I've done this before."

0752-"Just see it as a proof for courage."

0753-"I take my missing leg that he just ripped off, and hit him on the head."

0754-""Give me the cooler box or I'll have to get it myself." {freezes to death}

0755-"I'll probably be faster then this four-headed monster."

0756-"I step through the darkness, what do I see ?"

0757-PC1:"Let's use a Silence spell."
    PC2:"No, we might need it later..."
    {-- knocking on the door and asking for trouble }

0758- {cave full of goblins}
    NPC (Goblin leader):"Who kills the most dwarves ?"
    PC1 (party elf):"He gets 10 GP!"
    PC2 (party dwarf):"Ok."
    {dwarf is slaying all the goblins}
    PC2 (dwarf):"So, where is my 10 GP ?"
    PC1 (elf):"No, you didn't understand... it was meant for
    the goblins..."

0759-"I was sitting here first."

0760-"You're a dead man, you hear me, a dead man!"

0761-"This is *my* table."  {in a tavern}

0762-GM:"Failed Strength Check ?! Okay, you try to cross the fast-flowing river
 near the waterfall using a rope and you don't manage to hold this rope.
 So you go down the waterfall and begin your last journey."
    PC:"But I only held the rope for doing so. I'm tied with it !"

0763-"There's nothing that could go wrong. I have a 96 percent chance to be
     revived. Let's go on."

0764-"Runes of Protection ?! Never heard about ..."

0765-"What do you mean I'll be damned."

0766-"What are these three glowing red dots on your chest for?"

0767-"Where is that damn assassin?"

0768-"I'm *still* glowing when I wake up in the morning ???"

0769-GM:"So are you just going up into the Rope Trick then?"
    PC:"Yeah, and these guys are going to hand me up the gold and I'll stack
 it around and..."  ...poof...

0770-"Why does Norm the pirate have a stick with a skull on the end?"

0771-"Sh*t, my sword isn't working!"

0772-GM:"You see a giant glowing emerald lying on the ocean floor, in the midst
 of the shipwreck. It's bigger than your head and pulsates with inner
    PC:"Cool! I pick it up!"

0773-"Say, I wonder why my detect magic isn't on any more--urgck."
    {assassin disabled it...}

0774-GM:"You glimpse a shadowy figure on the next rooftop."
    PL:"Okay, I D-Door to the rooftop behind that one."

0775-"Look at this Neato-Keen stick I found! It's got a skull on the end and...
     hey, where'd everybody go?"

0776-"Bloody Peasant."

0777-GM:"Nimbus-man tells you to stop following him, puts you down, and turns
 around to leave."
    PC:"OK, I wait until he goes around the corner, then I follow him."

0778-"Man, this water feels really funny."

0779-"I broke my rapier parrying the giant ? That doesn't matter, I have
     a second one with me anytime."

0780-"I hope my defensive spells are still working."

0781-"The air is solidifying? Um, I start digging."

0782-"Pirate Lords are wimps."

0783-"I've been impaled to the floor with a lance ? Um, I try and tumble
     out of the way of his next attack."

0784-"Maybe you'd better not touch that?"

0785-"I need this blood for, uhh, an experiment."

0786-"Please press '#' to download your free navigation software upgrade."

0787-"Shields are for cowards only!"

0788-"I can't jump to cover. If I would do so, they will fire at Tom
     {another PC}, right?"

0789-"My magic-user stands at attention and gives the fire giants the
     One-Finger Salute..."

0790-"I swing my double-bladed axe with a terrific outcry to impress the
     other party members and to intimidate our opponents ! ...
     What do you mean the metal blades became loose and I only still hold
     the wooden helve in my hand ? Where are they ?"

0791-"Sure I'd like to kiss her."

0792-"We can take him out -- we've all got stoneskin on!"

0793-"What do you mean I can't hide in shadows behind that sand dune ?!"

0794-"I choose to trial in combat." {by a ranger lord, accused of treason}

0795-"Well, that wizard's out of spells, charge !"

0796-"Okay, so they're looking furtive, jumpy, and nervous, are carrying
     state of the art weaponry, and are heading down a tunnel - I'll
     attempt to follow them stealthily."

0797-"Hello Mr. Cow, I've never..."  {said to a Minotaur}

0798-PC1:"Are the others all alright ?"
    PC2:"I don't know - they're all under water."

0799-"O.K., I'll divert the guards, you all go in the back gate."

0800-"Does anyone recognise me ?"

0801-"We're just defending our rights.  Can I hit someone now, please ?"

0802-"I pull the pin and count to three!"

0803-"No one would be stupid enough to ram another car at THIS speed !"

0804-"C'Mon, a large glowing gem surrounded by skeletons impaled on
     spikes ? No one would make a trap that obvious."

0805-"Hmmm....Cloudkill. If I run fast enough I should be able to run through it."
     {too late when he noticed the pit underneith it...}

0806-PC1:"I step out of the combat and cast Chromatic Orb at one of the
  enemies - at my level he must save or be turned to stone."
    PC2:"Wait if you fire a spell ito melee there is a chance it will hit
  one of the other players."
    PC3:"Don't worry, there are more of them and they are larger than you."

0807-"The troll won't attack, he will be grateful for letting him out of
     the cell."

0808-"What do you mean if I roll a 20 the disintegrate spell will reflect back?"

0809-"I speak to the Celestial Dragon in the dragon tongue. Does that
     impress him ?"

0810-"Look, it is the ship of the evil Pirate Kane. I wonder why his
     bounty is so much higher than the other pirates. Oh well we'll be
     rich after we kill him."

0811-"The dragon wants us to hand over all our valuables ? Okay, I toss him
     1 gold piece."

0812-"I shoot at the Indians that are armed with guns, the ones with bows
     shouldn't pose much of a threat."

0813-"What do you mean the mage disappeared? I thought there weren't any
     Teleport spell in Shadowrun !" {There were invisibility spells though}

0814-"I use my boots of speed to run after him. What do you mean he just went
     through the wall ?" {THUD}

0815-"It's only two vehicles and they are unarmored, we should be able to
     take them out before they can shoot back."

0816-"I hit him, but I don't want to harm him."

0817-"I always win in gambling." {said by a PC who was offered a game of
     Russian Roulette}

0818-"That bridge will hold our weight!"

0819-"What do you mean a Ring of WindWalking does only function for one hour
     per day ?" {said while 200 yards above ground}

0820-{inside a dark dungeon}
    PC1:"All right, I'm holding on to PC2's shoulder."
    PC2:"No you aren't."
    PC1:"Is that your shoulder, PC3 ?"
    PC1:"That's bad. 'Coz I'm definitely holding on to someones shoulder !"

0821-"We open the door, throw in the dwarf, quickly shut the door, and wait
     for the screaming to stop. Then we open the door again. What do we see ?
     ... Dwarves ? How many ? Do they look upset ?"

0822-"Umm, guys? That temple statue's eyes are glowing. Is that bad ?"
     {It is when you're looting the temple !}

0823-"Big deal. There's eight of us. He's only one priest. And he's not
     even wearing any armor !"
     {Some people would have taken that as a hint !}

0824-"We can hear the ocean? But we're in a sewer!"

0825-"Um, just curious. But do doors normally drool?"

0826-"Oh sh*t! Just hold it off for a round while I get my sword out!"

0827-"Ha, this troll will not get up soon."

0828-"Quick! Cover your eyes !"

0829-"What do you mean there was gas inside and lighting a torch wasn't such a
     good idea ?"

0830-"Let a REAL wizard show you how it's done..."

0831-"No one would booby-trap their own closet."

0832-"Ok, I got my arm chopped off. Do I get those points to spend before he
     swings again ?"

0833-"This cannot be a Death Knight, we're too low level."

0834-"I drink the Slow-Poison-elixir." {Not an elixir to slow down the effects
    of a poison but a poison that kills you slowly.}

0835-"If you shoot me, I'll drop the light and you'll be lost down here."

0836-"I don't discuss with other PC's which potion to use when I'm unconscious."

0837-"Oh no, mummy, I don't lie down with you in your sarcophagus."

0838-"What archer ?"

0839-"I don't trust you."

0840-"Wait..it's a giant centipede and I have a +4 to my save vs. poison ?
     I step on it."

0841-"A race that advanced can't possibly be warlike."

0842-"They're only Extras." {Extras == NPCs dedicated to die}

0843-GM:"You found a strange portal."
    PC:"I look through it."
    GM:"You see something beyond your wildest imagination."
    PC:"Okay, How many tentacles does it have ?" {in sarcastic voice}
    GM:"I don't know, how many tentacles does GREAT CTHULHU have ?"
    PC:""Er?  As many as he wants?  Too many?"

0844-"Should they go all outside. I'll just stay here and steal a few things."

0845-"We're working for a stupid computer ?" {from Paranoia}

0846-"No, I haven't seen any invisible assassins lately."

0847-"You know, I'm sick of no-one ever turning around to see what's chasing

0848-"I sit on the throne."

0849-"Go and finish my supper, woman. ...oops..., oh, oh no, um...forget it."

0850-"Lynx hit him and didn't draw blood ? START DODGING!!!"

0851-"It's a bad idea to punch out rich people, isn't it ?"

0852-"We're heroes, we don't have to knock."

0853-PC1:"What's our goal ?"
    PC2:"To be the last ones conscious."

0854-"What was that 'Oops' at the end of your spell ?"

0855-"What do you mean you forgot the Ammo ?"

0856-"Cannons to the left, cannons to my right, cannons in front of me,
     cannons behind me and all I have is this stupid sling."

0857-"You're aiming for his 'WHAT' ?"

0858-"What do you mean I am holding the LAW (light anti-armor(tank) weapon)
     backwards ?"

0859-PC1:"What does it mean when your bio sensor goes red ?"
    PC2:"It means you are in a lot of trouble.  You should get out of
  the armor as quick as possible. Why, is yours going red ?"
    PC1:"No, yours is !"
    PC2:"Oh %&*@ ME"

0860-PC:"You don't need to see my identification."
    GM:"Which Force power were you using ?"

0861-GM:"The chest explodes. You're blinded."
    PC:"I use my fingers to feel for gold."

0862-"I stick my finger into the hole in that wall over there."
    {nothing a PC should ever do -- electricity}

0863-"Of course its evil, kill it!"

0864-"It can't talk to us like that!"

0865-"What do you mean, how many hit points do I have?"

0866-"Was that thunder, or were you rolling damage?"

0867-"No really.  I can do this."

0868-"Okay, if I max out this round and win initiative next round, maybe..."

0869-"Boost me up."

0870-"You mean it was a GOOD dragon?"

0871-"I'll steal the 20+ level mage's pouch."

0872-"What the hell, there's six of us and only 5 type VI demons."

0873-"A wish?  Okay, genie, make me a ham sandwich."

0874-"Hey, all I need is a two or better to save vs. poison."

0875-"YO!  Grendel!  Your momma wears combat boots!"

0876-"I dunno what a tarrasque is, but it can't be TOO tough."

0877-"What do you mean, the dragon wakes up?"

0878-"Wait!  What's deathspell do?"

0879-"Go ahead and drink it."

0880-"I'll never surrender."

0881-"It was a joke."

0882-"Hey guys, where are you?"

0883-"I mix the potions and drink."

0884-"There's no such thing as a bottomless pit.  Everybody knows that."

0885-"Featherball!  I mean, featherrrr........"

0886-"Do you realize what you just did?"

0887-"Tell me this is an illusion."

0888-"What do you mean, my spell expired."

0889-"I'll cast Fireball."

0890-"What's your alignment?"

0891-"My character WANTS to go out in a blaze of glory."

0892-"This type of undead can't drain levels"

0893-"I'll open the door, sneak up on him from behind and backstab him!"

0894-"The DM's an idiot."

0895-"It was only the wind."

0896-"I throw a rock at the eight-legged lizard to get it's attention."

0897-"I'll scout ahead."

0898-"Hey guys...wait up."

0899-"Come on, we haven't found any traps so far."

0900-"What a stupid trap!!"

0901-"What do you mean, `Your wand ran out of charges.'?"

0902-"Oh these, I've fought them before..."

0903-"All that noise we heard and there's only one drow here?"

0904-"What do you mean, 'How many hit points do I have RIGHT NOW?'?"

0905-"Come on, EVERY evil wizard's tomb has a way out!"

0906-"It can't be a beholder, we're only first level!"

0907-"When nobody's looking, I go back to get some more gems."

0908-"It's an illusion.  No spell can reshape the side of a mountain like
  that.  I disbelieve and walk off the 500' cliff."

0909-"He's only an ordinary 15th level magic user."

0910-CLICK!  "What do you mean, 'The trap WASN'T armed.'?  What was that Remove
    Traps roll for anyway!?"

0911-"How was I to know that that orc would tell the truth about us not wanting
     to come in here!"

0912-"What do you mean, 'Green slime ain't always green.'?"

0911"Nah...the game's just started....he wouldn't put a fatal death trap in yet.."

0912-"You don't get Humanoid 8th level wizards.  He's only bluffing"

0913-"(To Angry Red Dragon) Did anyone tell you you had bad breath?"

0914-"There's HOW many Githyanki sleeping bunks in this chamber?"

0915-"A red WHAT swoops out of the sky at us?"

0916-"I'll swim across."

0917-"I throw the rock into the dark cave."

0918-"I run down the hallway alone."

0919-"I'll use the wand of wonder."

0920-"I want to check out the magic tome."

0921-"Hmm...I'll try Chain Lightning"

0922-"Ok, the dragon's asleep.  You guys wait back here with bows and stuff.
     Getafix and I will go up in front of it and cast light on it's eyes to blind
     him, then we'll blow his brains out with psionics."

0923-PC:"Garth, you be the anchor.
    Garth:"I tie the rope around myself, take the slack [700'] and jump in."

0924-"There's only 10 kobolds and there's 8 of us.  Attack!"

0925-"I dive through the fire."

0926-"Follow those lights!"

0927-PC1:"There's a company of 100 barbarians guarding the pass"
     PC2:"I don't think they want us to cross these mountains."
     PC1:"So what?"

0928-"It's only a naga."

0929-"I'm not going to waste spells on THEM!"

0930-"That's right, I'm going to polymorph into a pergrine falcon and attempt to
land on the back of one of the 12 griffons flying above us."

0931-"I think we can take it down."

0932-"They're only a pack of kobolds."

0933-"Does a three save?"

0934-"C'mon guys -- he can't kill _all_ of us!"

0935-"I use animal empathy to calm the charging Triceratops."

0936-"There's only three of them.  Watch the one that looks like
      Death, though."

0937-"Just because you can breathe fire doesn't mean you can push *us*

0938-"Hmm...how do we know you are the REAL Angel of Death?" (easy)

0939-"Hey, it's only a black dragon, a vampire, and a lich.... and we've got a
horn of bubbles!"

0940-"I sneak up to the Lich and pick its pockets."

0941-"This is a wimp dungeon."

0942-"What does this lever do?"

0943-"If I were you, Demon, I would sit back down!"

0944-"That purple robe really clashes with your burning eyes..."

0945-"Bow to a Demon?  Never!"

0946-"Elminster, you old fart, I thought you were really mad for a minute."

0947-"What do you mean I turn into a bug?"

0948-"Oh, please!  Vampires have so many weaknesses, you can't help but kill them!"

0949-"What do mean feather fall wears off?"

0950-"Okay, we'll attack the small boulette first."

0951-"What do you mean, the Wall of Ice vanishes?"

0952-"They CAN'T have initiative!"

0953-"You've got 80 hit points; YOU open the treasure chest"

0954-"The Hall of Blades?  Hey, I've got an 18 dex."

0955-"What do you mean my axe bounces off him?  What's Stoneskin do anyway?"

0956-"C'mon guys...how bad could it be?!"

0957-"Cmon guys, it was only a rumor, theres nothing here"

0958-"So what, I have the artifact"

0959-"Ok, so theres a few more of them"

0960-"But I just got a little prick!"

0961-"Did he say he had Plate Mail +5?  I stop running and fight him!"

0962"Hey, do you guys think that this might just be an illusio...(whack)"

0963"I pick the lock on the magic shop window."

0964"We charge!"

0965-"Do you smell something. Is that gas?"

0966-"Thank God it's finally over!"

0967-"Awwwww, How cute! I bet you wanna play don't ya boy!?"

0968-"He wouldn't hold a grudge."

0969-"Did you leave the door unlocked?"

0970-"Dahmer, Dahmer, that name sounds familiar."

0971-"Quit playin' around guys. It's not funny! .... Guys?"

0972-"I don't believe in fairy tales"

0973-"Whoops. Guess I should have used that healing potion, huh?"

0974-"I didn't know they *made* dragon-sized Rings of Spell Turning !"

0975-"Oh, come on! Psionicists can't split their minds eight times!"

0976-"Ok, I'll visit the enchantress. Does she like men in black leather?"
     [PC assassin to other PC]

0977-GM:"It's an evil alter."
    PC:"Ok, I p*ss on it..."

0978-Jeff [PC]: "What does the sign at the dungeon entrance say ?"
    GM: "Jeff should stay away !"
    Jeff: "Someone's knowing my name. I rush inside."

0979-"A cyclops throwing boulders from a 30 metres high cliff? That idiot! I'll
     climb up and kick him..."

0980-"There is a crown on the head of that statue standing in the rooms, in which
     the floor is made out of a mirror? I go in and get the crown. ... What do
     you mean 'You stumble and fall down in the bath of mercury' ???"

0981-"He won't be able to summon a demon THAT quick..."

0982-"Cute little baby dragon. But let's get out of here, before it's mother
     comes back..."

0983-It's a leap of faith.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

0984-"Hey, I wanna lead the party!"

0985-"I don't care what my climb bonus is."

0986- Player [to GM]: "Hey, I've got half a pizza here. You can have it if you
     kill someone before the game's over."

0987-"I thought you said I had *two* mirror images left."

0988-"Nobody tells me what to do."

0989-To a Druidic PC: "As we ride off, I turn back and fireball the forest to slow
    down our pursuers !"

0990-"If that's your attitude, you CAN'T kill me!" [to GM]

0991-"I always enjoy killing these things because they're the GM's favourite

0992-"Ogre magi aren't that tough!"

0993-"WOW! Who's that gorgeous naked broad with the bat wings?"

0994-"While the rest of the party is gathering information, I'll just
     circulate around the room and pick a few pockets."

0995-"I drank what ???"

0996-"What do you mean, my water breathing spell has expired ?"

0997-Player: "Don't worry, I died last time we played, so the DM won't do it

0998-"But I ran away...!!!"

0999-PC1:"I'll just climb over the wall, and open the gate from the inside."
    PC2:"I'll read the sign on that gate." [while waiting outside]
    GM :"It reads 'Beware the dogs' !"

1000-PC : "I don't remember the way out of that dungeon anymore."
    NPC: "Turn to the left side at the end of the tunnel." [such a traitor]

1001-"Who farted ?" [said in the Gas Swamps]

1002-"Hum, a dark unexplored cave ? I get a rock and throw it into it."

1003-"Dolphins?  I go swimming."

1004-GM:"You find a huge knuckle bone."
    PC:"I'll use my rod of resurection on it."

1005-"Are you hurt, fair lady?" [she wasn't hurt, she was a medusa instead]

1006-"What do you mean 'This area is a no-magic-zone' ?"

1007-"Computer, end this program."

1008-"Well, I checked it out, my new transporter configuration cannot have any
 bugs anymore."

1009-PC: "I shoot my wand up through the holes, from where these elves are firing
         at us."
    GM: "You're about to get a quick lesson in Physics..."

1010-GM: "If the monster could laugh at you, it would."

1011-"What a big rock in the ceiling ahead. Is it fixed there ?"

1012-"Let me take a closer look on the medusa...

1013-"HEY LOOK!...  ARCHERS!!"

1014-"Hey Thor!  I'll bet if you'll put your hammer down I can take you on!"

1015-"Wait...  Dragons can only breathe fire once per day right?"

1016-"You can come.  There's no danger anymore."

1017-"Hey, they're dwarves; me too.  I can calm them down."

1018-"No problem.  I can hold my breath 16 minutes."

1019-"The Fire Drake's tracks go into this cavern, let's go in."

1020-"I walk into the raiders' camp and ask to use the toilet."

1021"Is that the best you can do?"

1022-"Just one more room..."

1023-"Relax, nothing was there.  What are you looking at?"

1024-"What do you mean a 'herd of Tarrasque'?"

1025-"I'll just fly over the dragon's lair on my pegasus and see if it's still there"

1026-"Don't worry, it's safe.  Nothing happened last time we camped here."

1027-"The huge red dragon is flying toward me with his mouth open?  Ok, I roll for initiative with my bastard sword."

1028-"What if we drained this fountain that acts as a portal to the elemental plane of water with my bag of holding?."

1029"Well, he's OK, Know Alignment works on anybody."

1030-"Gorgons?  OK, everybody hold your breath."

1031-"I think level draining's only temporary.  Keep attacking."

1032-"Rakshasas?  Quick, break out the poisoned bolts."

1033-"A stone golem? I draw my sword and hit it."

1034-"Awright! I can cast stoneskin! Now I'm invincible!"

1035-"What's a wild-magic zone?"

1036-"What do you mean, the item's not in my backpack any more?"

1037-"Come on, what could possibly go wrong?"

1038-"It _has_ to be an illusion - I attempt to disbelieve it."

1039-"The bridge looks sturdy enough."

1040-"I'll poke it with my sword."

1041-"It's just a goblin."

1042-"Poke it!  It's dead, what is it going to do?"

1043-"Damn it, where did I put that slay dragon scroll?"

1044-"I can use my Psionic powers on this Mindflayer."

1045"No problem, I have a Staff of Fire."

1046-"Coward!  There's only THREE of them!"

1047-"Come and fight me, you evil creature!"

1048-"I trust everyone."

1049-"You stupid thing! I don't WANT to be your master!!"

1050-"You don't have the guts to pull that trigger..."

1051- "Heh heh heh....Uh oh....."

And the ultimate famous last word:


Thanx to the following persons and groups...

Jens Fiedler    Keith C. McCormic
UKC Adventure Gaming Society  Travis McCord
Jim Vassilakos    Dirk Heche
Greg Schmidt    Per Beremark - TeleLOGIC Malmoe AB
Thomas Mueller    Christopher Francis Anderson
Michael Heggen    Brendan Dwyer
Mikkel Vous Kristiansen   chamrpomm@ensibull.imag.f
Richie Saunders    Net Ranger
Mad Chris     Michael Schwuchow
Jani Lahti     Mark Manning
Sami Merila     Samuel Fischer
Cyrus (flindholm@mta.ca)  Glen Barnett
Jeremy L. Hart    Klaus Breuer
Pete ...(20059.2b1c1642@ul.ie) Markus Puetz
Tom Da Mao     Arnd Gehrmann
Marko Pirneskoski    Roman Schwartz
Patrick Chester    Achim Kramme
Joshua A. Laff    David Cinabro
Dan Peterik          Mark Engel
Jarmo H Parkkinen    Eyal Teler
Fabio Fontana    Gunnar Horrigmo
Christopher Lee Cavender  Tony Pace
Shawn MacKinnon    Marc A. Volovic
Ben Calvert     Hans-Juergen Wackwitz
Joerg Fuchs     Thilo Kuchenbrod
Thomas Holzwarth    David Geiser
Carsten Wimmer    Werner Menne
Manfred Lemke    Michael Taube
Arnim Rupp     Bernhard Burger
Peter Gut...    Phil Edwards
Sonja Kowalewski    Guinny {mgo@ukc.ac.uk}
Uwe Willie     Daniel J. Fawcett
Jean Carrieres    Daniel Pawtowski
Sven Venema     Ceredwyn Bensley
Kent Harris     Jeff Suzuki
Marcus Misicka    Mike Adams
Sly (mtlindem@midway.uchicago.edu) John Yeates
Geoff Cohen     Mark Norman
Yee Ping Yi     Ruediger Schmidt
Volkmar H.G. Mai    Brian Paquet
Keith Morris    Viola Krings
s924127@yallara.cs.rmit.oz.au  Thomas Lange
Karsten Sethre    James Joseph Dominguez
Mitchell Jon Polley   Jean-Marc Libs
Mark Whiteley    Christopher Gary McArthur
Frank T Sronce    Glenn Murdoch
Grendel-Khan    Joakim Rastberg
Jon Patrick     Ghost Wheel {don't know his real name}
Tim Gill     Sukhwant Atwal
Nushae Siobhan Fahey   Norman Brose
David Mar     Michelle Carter
Paul R. Rainey    Michael Niedecken
Nathan Sherman    Sascha Pabst
Trevor Paquette    Ed Zeamba
Charles Anthony Leone   Aaron Sher
Jim Cheetham    Patrick Palmer
David Cooke     JP Zagal
E.A. Drawneek    Kevin J. Chase
Simon Becherer    Dan Doherty
Sky Kruse     Hans Granqvist
Lars Olofsson    Utku Somer
Bingo (don't know real name)  Henri (don't know full name)
Michael Peceny    Jack Dracula
Mathew Earle Reuther   Michael Fassbender
Ari Wilkenfeld    Kirt Wackford
John Kearney    Stuart Barber
buckingham_j@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz(no name)Nils Anders
Erik Frohne     Jan Frederiksen
Dave Thomas     Fitz
Philip Zembrod    ... (STYNER@MLML.CALSTATE.EDU)
Demond     Bill ... (wfl4468@tntech.edu)
Rick Hughes     James Quirk
Rainer Klier    Alexandra Knepper
Eccles     Anthony Ragan
Neal Sofge     Rollin Baker
Mike Horrill    Debbie Hodges
Egil Geir Brautaset   Daniel Pawtowski
Andrew Cullum    ... (kory.kaese@asb.com)
Andrew Rilstone    Cassius Di Cianni
Stefan U. Haenssgen   Sylvia Rudy
Red Lady
Nick Obley
Ianthe Fira Ar'ne


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